SID: So in the last segment we were talking about Genesis 12:3, “I God will bless those who bless the Jewish people.” I mean, I’m kind of a black and white truth-type person. This is God speaking. I, God, will bless those who bless the Jewish people. “I, God, will curse those who curse the Jewish people.” Sandy, tell me some historical examples of this.
SANDY: Well first we have Bible history that I won’t go into. But immediately after God puts this blessing and cursing associated with Abraham on to the patriarch, we see that he encounters Abimelech, King Abimelech, who first mistreats him in his wife — so he and his household suffer the consequences — and then blesses him in his wife. But then going, fast forward, going into post-biblical history, we see how the Roman Empire thrived until it enacted virulently anti-Jewish laws, persecuted the Jewish people, and the Roman Empire crumbled. We can look at the Crusades, the Crusades that were initiated by England and France, dispatching troops into the Promised Land to liberate Jerusalem. But unfortunately liberate meant liquidate and so multitudes of innocent Jews, as well as Muslims, were slaughtered in the Crusades. Shortly thereafter, England and France turned their weapons against each other in the 100-years war, and much of their population was decimated by the bubonic plague. We can go on to the Spanish Inquisition and we can see how Spain was experiencing a golden age in which it was a global economic power. Once it began its inquisitions, which meant either forced conversions of Jews to Christianity, which in nearly every case meant a fake conversion or expulsion from the country, the Spanish Empire crumbled. And then we can look at the British Empire, which it had been said that the sun never sets on the British Empire. Great Britain played a critical role in the formation of the State of Israel and sadly, although Great Britain did bring blessing to Israel, there were instances of some real deeds that were far less than blessing, and so we see that the British Empire is no more. And we can even look at the former Soviet Union, which notoriously persecuted the Jewish people and eventually crumbled.
SID: Palestinian, we hear this word. Where did it come from?
SANDY: The word “palestinian” actually came from the Romans. When they conquered Jerusalem, the renamed the region Palestine in mocking remembrance of Israel’s ancient and, by then, long extinct enemy, the Philistines.
SID: So I wonder if they realize they’re named after the Philistines and that was a derogatory thing that was done. But what I understand is when they got the name “Palestine,” that was the name for Jews and Arabs, not just for the Arabs.
SANDY: Right. That whole region was called Palestine until it was, until shortly after World War I, when it was the nations and through international treaties, divided up into different Arab states and a Jewish state that was to include all of what was then known as Palestine.
SID: Okay. What is the history of these Palestinian people? What are their rights to that Land of Israel?
SANDY: The majority of Palestinians were Bedouin, who simply wandered all over the Middle East in search of subsistence. They were tribal people. They did not stay long in one particular locale. The Middle East was known as the Ottoman Empire for hundreds of years. Up until World War I, it was the Ottoman Empire and the Arabic peoples kind of wandered all over the place. Yes, some did stake out certain areas, but most of them did not. The people that are known as Palestinians today, approximately a third of them have some type of indigenous trace, not ancestral, okay, but indigenous in the sense that their parents or grandparents lived in that general area for at least a couple of generations. But most of them, about two-thirds of them, came from surrounding regions in the larger Middle East, the Ottoman Empire, the former Ottoman Empire, came from surrounding regions to what is now known as the State of Israel — only after the Zionist pioneers arrived and started to reclaim the land and build it up. What we know as the State of Israel today was mostly desert and swamp land up until then.
SID: I remember a description by Mark Twain. When he saw he said, “Who in the world would want this land?” But it’s as if when the Jewish people returned to the Land of Israel the desert blossomed as a rose, and so then they wanted it. Well let’s fast forward a little bit. You maintain that the media is, what was the word that you used, it was not Hollywood, it was…
SID: Pallywood, explain that.
SANDY: Pallywood is a term that’s been coined to reflect that much of what we see in the — not only mainstream media, but even social media, even that’s a mainstream media these days — that depicts scenes of conflict between Palestinians and Israelis are fake scenes. Sad to say, but there’s been pretty extensive documentation, it’s not hard to find.
SID: Tell me one example.
SANDY: Okay. Well an interesting example took place during Israel’s last war with Gaza, the end of 2012, when the Palestinians scripted fake scenes of assault and injury, one of which included a scene of a seemingly innocent Gazan who appeared to be severely injured in a, near an attack scene with his comrades helping him and trying to summon aid. And the whole scene is really heart-rendering. Anybody with any sense of compassion or justice would be moved by it except for the end of it, during which the injured victim stands up, brushes himself off and walks away with his comrades.
SID: Well is it true that the terrorists have hospitals and schools filled with sick people and children, and they put the rockets that they’re flying into Israel there, so when Israel tries to get rid of the rockets, they kill innocent men and children.
SANDY: The militant Muslims, the Islamists intentionally maximize civilian damage in large part to gain sympathy for their cause against Israel. Among themselves, they will laud such victims as martyrs and honor them in Arabic, and then to the west, in English they will lament and wail about the so-called brutality of the Israelis.
SID: Has Israel really warned them before they attack?
SANDY: Absolutely. The Israeli army, unlike any other nation that I’m aware of in the world, before a planned assault, will drop leaflets, will radio a warning, will call cell phones. Every cell phone in the region will get a text saying, “We’re going to attack now.”
SID: My goodness. I’ll tell you, Esther has a tie to the End Time Church. And Mordecai said to Esther, “Esther Church, if you don’t stand up for the Jewish people in Israel at this time, God will raise deliverance from another source.” But Esther, who knows if you’ve not been called to the Kingdom for such a time as this.
SID: Hello. Sid Roth here with Julie True. And Julie, I have to tell you, your music, it literally, I believe it’s changing DNA in people, in their spirit, in their body. Especially, more and more people are talking about a concept called soaking. But most people have never even heard about soaking as far as what it really means. They’ve heard the term, but they don’t know what it means. What does soaking mean to you?
JULIE: Well it’s a time of rest. It’s a time to quiet your mind, be awakened in your spirit and it’s a time to be still and know that He is God. You know, in our soaking times, anyway, it’s not like we have the only definition necessarily of soaking. But in our soaking room it’s our time to pray. It’s not a time to worship out loud. It’s not a time to pray in tongues, be doing something. It’s a time to receive, to be still.
SID: You know, that’s a hard thing for us here in America to do, not do anything. Just be still before God. We were talking before we went on the air about Samuel and how he would literally soak. Explain that.
JULIE: Yeah. I think that was the same thing. It’s resting in the presence of the Lord. And when he heard God calling him, you know, he said, “What are you saying?” He said, “Here am I. I’m listening.” And I feel that is the same way with soaking. It’s like a time when you be still, you are still and you can hear God talking to you and you get lots of revelation.
SID: Now when people soak in your soaking center, what types of things happen to them?
JULIE: We hear many kinds of testimonies. But some of them are people being healed of insomnia, babies being able to sleep that have their schedules turned around, people with Alzheimer’s being greatly improved, emotional healing, healing from mental illness, physical types of healing. We had some amazing testimonies about people’s blood pressure that stabilized as they were listening to my music and with their vital signs being read, and things like that.
SID: You know what? I don’t want Julie to just tell you what happens to other people. I want it to happen to you. Julie, if you would go to our music set, and I want you to worship God and I want that same presence that Samuel was baking under in the temple to come upon you. Because I believe that as you soak, you prepare your heart to receive something special from God. And the third segment, get a pillow ready and you are going to, actually the whole third segment we’re going to have you soak before God and you will be changed. Julie True.
JULIE [music, singing]: All that is within me, all that is within me, all that is within me bless your holy name. La, la, la, la, la, la, la… All that is within me, all that is within me, all that is within me bless your holy name. Let the name of the Lord be lifted high, let the name of the Lord be lifted high. Jesus, Jesus. Let the name of the Lord be lifted high, let the name of the Lord be lifted high. Jesus, Jesus. Every part of my heart I gives you praise, with every part of my heart I give you praise. Every part of my heart I give you praise, with every part of my heart I give you praise…
Sid: If I was not red hot before I’m sure red hot now. But I was red hot before because I just literally got back from Israel. We do the recording a month in advance, but literally I just got off of a plane from Israel. I was invited to speak at a New Age festival filled with the worst hedonistic examples of humanity that are so depraved, and just witches, and devil worshippers, and Satanists, and New Age Kabbalists, Orthodox rabbis that are into Kabbalah. They had it all focused on me; I was supposed to speak a couple of times praise God I did, and large numbers of Jewish people made professions of faith, and healings all over the place. I have to tell you I have an intercessor on the phone that’s been one of my main intercessors for… I don’t know Carol how many years do you know?
Carol: Oh at least 15 Sid.
Sid: Carol Howe and she’s literally travelled all over the world praying for the various meetings that I’ve had. I asked Carol to get a team together to pray for what was going on. I’m not sure I’d be speaking to you right now if we didn’t have the prayer. Tell me not knowing what was going on, what you and the other intercessors sensed.
Carol: We were led to pray together in a conference call and we finally got together Saturday night Sid when you were up in the air flying home. We felt it was very important. We prayed our regular prayers which were wonderful, and then we sensed something we had never sensed before. What I was sensing was the Father’s extreme pleasure in what had happened as a Father to you, and also how long He had waited for someone to get out on the streets of Israel and to do what was done in the original outpouring of the Holy Spirit. It was so profound that we had to stop praying and we just sat in silence; it was like a 3rd heaven warfare or something where we didn’t even have to talk anymore; we were somewhere where God was expressing His pleasure that it was a success as far as He was concerned. We also felt that it was part, and if not the beginning of what everyone’s talking about is this new realm, and this new place, and this new… that we know what happens in Israel affects the entire church. This is like an arrow going into Israel that was actually going to open up for the entire church. We felt His pleasure… your obedience Sid and the whole team.
Sid: Well thank you, but I can express on behalf myself I am so appreciative that you and everyone listening that was an intercessor prayed because I don’t think I could have survived without that prayer.
Carol: We could pick that up.
Carol: [Laughing] But praise the Lord there’ll be many more Sid.
Sid: Thank you Carol. Now I have another team member on the telephone Lance Wallnau. Lance you told me when I actually interviewed on the Messianic Vision a few months ago you told me about a vision that you had some 15 years ago. Would you tell us about it?
Lance: Yeah Sid as a matter of fact that was the catalyst that got me to go back on such short notice. Fifteen years ago I had visited Israel, I have some family living down there. I felt what Derek Prince described as that very strong headwind that is always blowing against you when he would be 6 months out of the year interceding in Jerusalem. I picked up on that. I felt as though the western influence was so strong in the culture, I don’t know what I had expected sentimental Christians go to Israel with all kinds of notions of what they’re going to run into. At that time I was praying in a pool I was just sitting in Arad, and I was just thinking “Lord what about Israel?” I turned and saw children about 5 or 6 years old splashing in the water. As clear as anything the Lord immediately took me into a dimension of the Spirit and spoke to me and said “When these children become adults I am going to come and I am going to visit the land of Israel with a great move and a great shaking, and a great harvest of My Spirit.” Suddenly I knew that I was in Israel spying out land 15 or 16 years before that generation would mature. I hadn’t thought about that nor shared that publicly until you asked me the question “Did God tell me anything about Israel?” I had to honestly say something the last thing I heard that was definitive was 15 years ago, then you challenge me with the fact that that generation’s been growing up. [Laughing]
Sid: That’s the generation we saw with our eyes. Would you describe what your impressions were from that trip?
Lance: Yeah indeed that is the generation. It was mixed experience for me again because I realized that generation now has grown up… I guess the average age according to my wife the people she interviewed was maybe about 15 – 17 – 18 something like that, young teenagers. The hunger that is there for spiritual reality mingled with the fact that without any real demonstration such as what you were bringing into the country. Without any real demonstration of God manifesting Himself there’s a kind of resigned secular spirit that is like… we interviewed people for instance on the beach of Galilee and there was a feeling like we’re hungry for something but we don’t know if God is a supernatural God because what we’ve seen has just no really demonstrated that. So they’re looking at alternatives and looking here and looking there. A hungry generation and a generation living in stress and despair and really just trying to seek a way to exist and enjoy life. That was my impression but that comes out of the trenches of my own experiences.
Sid: You know what excited me to no end it was just like we were back in the book of Acts. You weren’t with me at the time but I told you about it. I was waiting because we had two car loads and I was in the last car load. I see a guy walking by and he’s kind of hobbling and he’s using his buddy as a crutch, he’s holding him on the shoulder. I said “What happened to you?” He said “I fell and it’s so sore that I cannot put any weight on my ankle.” I said “Can I pray for you?” I don’t know what he was thinking but he said “Sure.” So I got down on the ground and I put my hand on his ankle and I said one word “Yeshua” Hebrew for Jesus. He didn’t know what to do so I said “Put some weight on your ankle,” and I could see he was a little nervous about it, but he put some weight on his ankle and he could walk. He started screaming and just like Peter and John went in by the Gate Beautiful and they saw a man that was crippled and he started jumping and leaping and praising God. He said “I have a miracle, I have a miracle!” Shortly after that 2 girls walked up and I told them what had happened and they said “Well explain in detail.” I said “Well I’ll let him do it.” This guy that didn’t even know Jesus was saying “This guy prayed in the name of Yeshua and I had a miracle. Look I can walk!” He starts pointing at me and he says “That man he healed me.” I said “NO! I didn’t heal you God healed you!” and I’m pointing up to the heavens. He starts pointing up and he says “God healed me, God healed me!” The young man, the person that was his crutch that he didn’t need as a crutch anymore, and these 2 young girls all went with me into this tent where we were serving Chai. We sat down and they found out more about the God of miracles, the God of now. That’s why I have such a passion for the supernatural. I have such a passion for you to be equipped with the supernatural to reach the Jew to form the One New Man.
Sid: And you know one of my big regrets is as a new believer I didn’t have people to really teach me about the supernatural about the basics of the faith. I was often running with speaking all over the United States before I had even read the New Testament and as a result it took me a long time to find out what I know today. Now there is someone whose name I heard in the early days and his name was Don Gossett. He had written some books that really impacted my life and we have a generation now that have not read Don’s books and need it desperately. Don you’ve had an opportunity that few people have. You traveled with a great miracle ministry by the name of William Freeman. You were Editor for TL Osborn; who as far as I’m concern probably has seen more miracles than anyone who ever lived. He’s in Heaven now but I want everyone to get to know you just a little bit this week and we want to glean some of things you learned over the years that you wish you had known when you first started. But let’s take you back to when you were age 11 and you were kidnapped, this was before you were a believer in the Messiah. Because of this horrible experience you were set free. I understand it made it easy for you to turn to Jesus, tell me about that.
Don: Yes well it was a very unusual experience that I would never want to happen to anybody because it was all unexpected and I didn’t know for a time what was happening. Then I began to have a fear that I would never see my parents again because the man kept on driving and driving stopping for drinking and buying whiskey and so forth. He was in very frightening when he got very intoxicated and his driving became very critically dangerous. It was then that I really submitted myself to what I call the prayer of breakthrough prayer; my breakthrough miracle prayer. I would lay my head on the dash board and in a sincere fervent prayer of an 11 year old boy was terribly profound as far as theology, but the very expression of my heart. So when the incident when the man passed out from his drunkenness and a woman came upon the scene and she wanted to know information about my parents and so I said at that time didn’t have a phone in your home so she said who has a phone in your area? And I said school principal so she called him and then he notified my parents where I was and my parents drove nonstop hundreds of miles to pick me up and that was really a significant event in my young life. When I realized it was through the driving became so dangerous I wasn’t sure that we would survive the incident possibly a very critically accident you know and could be dead.
Sid: Now your parents were not believers but so how did you become a believer at age 12?
Don: Well it was in that I became convinced my father was unsaved man and gave some Baptist Christians permission to build an old fashion brush arbor that was kind of a forerunner before tents became prominent. And it has been years of conducting each night and I would go over as a very timid young man 11 years old and I would just stand there out from the brush arbor so nobody could see me and I would witness the whole thing; and I saw sinners going forward for salvation I knew a lot of those people from that farm community. I thought gee my mind came and I said “That’s the greatest thing that could happen to anyone to receive Christ and with conviction in my heart.” And I mentioned the fact that I some misleading information that it would be better that you receive before age 12 or not if you were before 12 you would be saved regardless. Which is of course isn’t accurate. Shortly after I was 12 years of age I was invited by some neighbors to come with them to what we called a revival at a Baptist Church. When the evangelist portrayed Christ dying on the cross and carried a chair across the platform like the cross and it all became quite clear to me as far as my 12 year old mind could conceive that how and why salvation is all about. And I made a decision to go forward and receive the Savior and that was a tremendously vital experience. I just was really delighted that I was now saved and that’s how it changed my life.
Sid: Well Don then at age seventeen you were involved in an all-night encounter with the Lord; explain.
Don: Yes I was really hungry for God was the main thing and I had this all night encounter with Him in prayer and it was in the Holy Spirit gave me a definite call to become a Preacher. And my Dad was such a dominating influence in my life that I knew I had to tell him as soon as possible and when I heard him down stairs about 6:00 in the morning I went down to tell him. He was very opposed to the idea pointing out my shyness and my speech impediment and he said I didn’t believe I could ever be a minister because I would have problems talking to people even in a personal conversation without stuttering or stammering.
Sid: So did he talk you out of being an evangelist, obviously he didn’t.
Don: The calling of God was so real to my heart that even though my earthly father gave me this objection I still was convinced what God had called me in. So I went back to my room and dropped to my knees and Isaiah 41:10 opened up to me “Fear not for I am with thee be not dismayed for I am thy God, I will help thee and strengthened thee; I will uphold thee with my right hand and my righteousness.” And I knew that God was saying if I fear not I can fulfill this calling. And so even though with my father’s objection I moved right ahead and I went through Bible College in San Francisco and prepared for ministry. And I started preaching in a small Baptist Church.
Sid: But what did you do about your stuttering?
Don: I fervently met God and He gave me those three scriptures that were so applicable to my situation. The one was Exodus 4:12 “Now therefore go and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall say.” I was young in my study of the word and I didn’t realize that was just something given to Moses by the calling of God, but I applied it to my own heart. “Now therefore go and I’ll be with your mouth and teach you what you shall say.” I applied that to my own situation that God would be with my mouth. Then the scripture in Samuel “The Spirit of the Lord is straight by me and His word was in my tongue.” The third scripture I began to really focus in my life was Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” I applied those scriptures and then I was filled with the Holy Spirit. About a year I stopped stuttering and mumbling and I had a real liberty in speaking; it was not exactly the most profound speaker but I was called to being a walk with God that anyone to fulfill his calling to me.
Sid: Okay and then your folks heard about a healing evangelist by the name of William Freeman. Your mother had been struggling with a condition and even though they weren’t believers they went to the meeting; what happened?
Don: Well it was really remarkable. William Freeman came to Portland, Oregon and I as a young Baptist I had never heard about healing for the sick. I then was assured about how he was being used by God to have very profound miracles. So I went to his meeting and I witnessed the same and I was deeply impressed. I went back to my unsaved parents and I told them what I had seen and the experienced and I asked them to go with me and they reluctantly chose to go. And they were also impressed by the miraculous and the supernatural for confirmation of the word. My mother then the Holy Spirit really got a hold of her heart and she went forward and was saved; what a great night it was. She had limitation of being able to walk because of her infirmities, but I remember so well that the next she was praying for, in Jesus Name, and wonderfully set free from all the pain. And when she came off the platform very emotional as an 18 year old boy I then ran down the aisle to meet her and embraced her and she said “Don, there’s no more pain I totally free.” And that testimony for my dad with her of course he was so convincing and as well as all the other members of my family eventually. And it caused my dad who I always called a wicked sinner because he was an alcoholic, he practiced infidelity unfortunately and broke my mother’s heart. And he came to Christ and thank God the whole…
Sid: Oops we’re out of time Don.
Sid: You know Mishpochah I love the gifts of the Spirit you know that you’ve been listening to me long enough, the true gifts of the Spirit. I had occasion to have some prophesy over me recently and this person knew nothing about me, she had never heard my name before. And I actually prefer someone prophesying over me that way because sometimes the human side mixes what God says and what they know. I was astounded at some of the key phrases that were used in this prophesy really caught my attention. I mean I have her on the telephone right now her name is Dawn Sweigart and she lives in Mechanicsburg, Pennsylvania. Dawn, you may not have even remember this but you brought up the phrase One New Man; do you remember that?
Dawn: I remember it only because you asked me “Why did you just say that?”
Sid: Of course I asked you that you said it because the Holy Spirit told you, and Mishpochah if you know much about me you know I’ve written a book on the subject and I talk about it all the time. So you definitely caught my attention; and I want to find out more about you and I figured we’d let our Mishpochah eaves drop with us. I understand that your grandmother was a Holocaust survivor; tell me a bit about that part of your life.
Dawn: My mother’s father was a soldier in the US Army and was a cook in the relocation camp following World War II where he met my grandmother. She and her family, her father, her mother and her brother all miraculously made it through the Holocaust. They had been Poles for generations. And following World War II my grandmother changed her name to Marie and married my grandfather. Came here to the United States, New Hampshire very Catholic family and within two years had given birth to both my mother and my aunt. Then left and I only ever saw her once in my life when she was quite well advanced in years. She died several years ago there was never reconciliation between she and my mother.
Sid: But you knew about this Jewish side of your family so to speak; what effect did it have on you; did you have a desire to find out more about Jewish people, the Jewish religion?
Dawn: You know I dated Jewish guys in High School and loved going to temple with them on Friday night. The reason for that I think not only was God pulling something deep out of my being, but also because I was raised without God in my household. Both of my parents were pretty much agnostic, there were no prayers spoke over us or taught to us. There was a desire to know this God if He existed. So it was out of that desire that I began to search things out. I had a difficult childhood which many people do and it kind of spun me into a really tragic young adulthood, I really gave myself over to drugs and alcohol and promiscuity trying to find two things and that was peace which I had never head and love. Which I never found in the world, but as I pursued this God I searched through the Mormon Missionaries that would knock on my door, and the Jehovah Witnesses who would approach me in a shopping mall, and I began to read the Old Testament. I was actually trying to prove that it was a different God then of the one of the New Testament. Trying to throw all of that in there with Hinduism and Buddhism and trying to find out what the truth really was.
Sid: And yet all this time you were plagued with fears of all kinds.
Dawn: I was I was tormented even as a child; my parents would wake up in the middle of the night to the sound of me screaming. I had night terrors they wouldn’t be able to awaken me. I’d be thrown in such fits of absolute horror that my nose would bleed and would just be covered with blood and screaming and that was be almost a nightly ritual and it carried on into my marriage. I never had peace, I was never free of fear until I found Jesus; actually until He found me.
Sid: Tell me what happened to you in 1993.
Dawn: Well in 1993 I had been married since ’88 so about 5 years and had a young son 2 years old.
Sid: Just out of curiosity with all that baggage and I guess that’s the proper term. How was your marriage going?
Dawn: It was horrific.
Sid: I would think so. (Laughing)
Dawn: It was a nightmare you know when somebody is tormented by fear they tend to try to control everything that can be controlled. My reaction to the fear was a lot of control, a lot of rage; a lot of anger and just a dysfunction that had been twisted into me in my early years came out fully grown in my marriage. I to this day am so grateful that the Lord even before we recognized him as our Lord. It gave both my husband and I the grace to stay in the marriage until he could fully redeem both of us.
Sid: I’m sure that was God doing that; if it was up to our own abilities it could have never happened. But let’s take you you’re working in a store; what kind of a store is it?
Dawn: It was a boutique in Harrisburg you know where the sold men’s crocodile shoes for $900 a pair. You know coats for 3 and $4,000. The money makers and movers and shakers of the area would walk in and there was an attraction in me for that. As I was working there one night with a girl Joanie a young man came in he’d only been saved 6 weeks, his name is Scot Marco and he started witnessing to my friend and I started to harass him a bit when he started talking about the Bible and how it was all true. That there was no contradiction within the word of God; and I began to ask him because I had done some study without revelation, without the Holy Spirit just with the words themselves much like many people who would consider themselves devout. Muslims are devout, Jews or even devout Catholics. Who just without revelation without a personal relationship with Christ or the indwelling of the Holy Spirit really have no idea what is being spoken, what is being declared because there’s a veil that remains. As he was sharing and I asked him “Well what about this you know?” First he says an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth and then Jesus says “Turn the other cheek.” Was God having a bad couple of millennia, the resurrection stories they’re all different. There’s two women in this one and then only one woman, and two woman and a man and there’s angels, now there’s no angels but he looks like a gardener so which one is it? You say it’s not without contradiction and just really artillery style firing questions.
Sid: This was a baby believer how did he handle himself with that type of an attack?
Dawn: (Laughing) By the Spirit of God he looked at me and said “I can’t answer your questions.” Which I know the Holy Spirit put those words in his mouth because I was so filled with intellectual pride. It was the only thing that would have shut me up, which was well, you know more than I do. And so I stood there and he said “But I do have a question for you.” And I said “What.” He said “I have peace, what do you have?”
Dawn: And you know I wasn’t going to be debated into a belief in Christ; I wasn’t going to be persuaded or educated into a relationship with Jesus, but he asked me a question that cut to my heart and it was like 1st Corinthians 14 being manifested. That here I was an unbeliever but the secret of my heart had been revealed that I struggled with fear and torment and terror and panic and anxiety and worry more than any person I had ever met. He asked the question “Where is your peace?” And it was out of that and him leaving a New Believer’s New Testament and a book called Joshua which is just a modern day parable of Jesus. That, a week later as I sat there reading the book Joshua I heard the voice of God for the first time in my life. It was a voice that wasn’t my own, it wasn’t audible I don’t think someone else standing in the room could have heard it but it wasn’t evasive statement and question and pleading and he said “Choose today who you are going to serve, this is your last chance.” And it’s not that I believe that God’s mercy had run out on my life, I don’t believe that, I believe that his compassion’s don’t fail and His mercies are new every morning. But He knew the way that I was struggling just keeping my car on the road and not running into a tree every night. The way I was turning again to alcohol and drugs even though I had a young family it didn’t matter I needed to find some relieve I was always in torment. I think He knew what was going to happen that my own strength wasn’t going to carry me any longer. Out of His mercy He brought me to a place of absolute decision and I closed this door and got on my face and spent the next 6 hours receiving the forgiveness of God and coming to know love for the first time; so that’s how it all happened.
Sid: Just out of curiosity what was going on with you in the feeling realm?
Dawn: Well, I had only cried twice in the previous 7 years of my life, once when my son was born, and once when my mother-in-law had died she was a very committed Lutheran and she was dying of cancer. She told me before she died that she wanted one promise to be kept for me; I asked what it was and she said “I want you and Bob in church you need God.” And only because this dear woman who had never been anything but kind to me was asking a question I said “Okay Mom, okay Mom. She said “No, I want you to promise me” and I did promise her but to me everyone had always lied to me so lying to someone else to give them peace was not…
Sid: I’ll tell you what hold that thought, Mishpochah we’ll pick up right here on tomorrow’s broadcast.